Post by dogmaticgaming on Nov 25, 2018 19:05:10 GMT
1.Minecraft IGN:
Azilmak
2.Age:
33
3.Location(Country)
Currently in New York City
4.How did you find out about the DSSR?
From Zellie via Bugsy
5.What do you normally do when on a Minecraft server?
Get materials for Zellie.
6.What do you expect to get out of this server?
3 days of non stop material farming followed by a few days of random logins to see that Zellie hasn't really been on to use the material I grabbed for her... then eventually she will use the materials but by then it's been a week and I never login again. Maybe this time we will make something cool or maybe not. She seems really excited I however am reluctant.
7.Have you ever been banned from a server? If so, what happened?
Technically no. However I have left a server under less than agreeable terms. Long story made short is that a mod and I just had huge personality differences and didn't get along. He had a huge powertrip/ego problem and when I wouldn't bend to his every desire or treat him like a god things got heated and I ended up just leaving the server rather than fighting the uphill battle against a fool with pretend authority.
8.What can you tell us about yourself?(hobbies,interests,other games, etc) The more we know here, the better your chances?
I have hated tomatoes my entire life, but lately I don't remember why. I change my name to random things on Facebook at random times in the hopes that everyone will eventually unfriend me because they have no idea who I am... so far its working like a charm. How do charms work? I don't know what to write here so I'm gonna get really real because who gives a shit at this point... I'm 90% sure I've been depressed my entire life and just now figured it out at age 33. I used to think that everyone around me was odd and I was normal but recently that facade has come crashing down around me and I can catch glimpses of normality through the dense fog but more often than not I'm engulfed so bad that even fighting against the fog is exhausting and it only gets worse when people want to help because I have no frame of reference to help them help me. I've been in this fog for so long that its become a way of life and in order to change anything I first have to change my entire existence up to this point. But I'm dug in like a tick to this lifestyle even though I hate myself and everything I am. I hate that everyone calls everything a war but that is what it feels like. It feels like some days I can fight against it a little but I get overwhelmed. Other days everything... EVERYTHING is a struggle and it's those days that it seems the most hopeless. Where do you even start getting help for something like this? What call a hotline? So they can tell me not to kill myself and then just awkwardly talk to me without ever actually helping? Go get professional help from some moron who barely passed his classes in school and knows nothing more about how to help than the average hotline volunteer? Self-medicate with drugs until I OD? There is no help. I shouldn't need help. I should be able to pull myself out of this but I fail when I try. That is who I am currently.
Azilmak
2.Age:
33
3.Location(Country)
Currently in New York City
4.How did you find out about the DSSR?
From Zellie via Bugsy
5.What do you normally do when on a Minecraft server?
Get materials for Zellie.
6.What do you expect to get out of this server?
3 days of non stop material farming followed by a few days of random logins to see that Zellie hasn't really been on to use the material I grabbed for her... then eventually she will use the materials but by then it's been a week and I never login again. Maybe this time we will make something cool or maybe not. She seems really excited I however am reluctant.
7.Have you ever been banned from a server? If so, what happened?
Technically no. However I have left a server under less than agreeable terms. Long story made short is that a mod and I just had huge personality differences and didn't get along. He had a huge powertrip/ego problem and when I wouldn't bend to his every desire or treat him like a god things got heated and I ended up just leaving the server rather than fighting the uphill battle against a fool with pretend authority.
8.What can you tell us about yourself?(hobbies,interests,other games, etc) The more we know here, the better your chances?
I have hated tomatoes my entire life, but lately I don't remember why. I change my name to random things on Facebook at random times in the hopes that everyone will eventually unfriend me because they have no idea who I am... so far its working like a charm. How do charms work? I don't know what to write here so I'm gonna get really real because who gives a shit at this point... I'm 90% sure I've been depressed my entire life and just now figured it out at age 33. I used to think that everyone around me was odd and I was normal but recently that facade has come crashing down around me and I can catch glimpses of normality through the dense fog but more often than not I'm engulfed so bad that even fighting against the fog is exhausting and it only gets worse when people want to help because I have no frame of reference to help them help me. I've been in this fog for so long that its become a way of life and in order to change anything I first have to change my entire existence up to this point. But I'm dug in like a tick to this lifestyle even though I hate myself and everything I am. I hate that everyone calls everything a war but that is what it feels like. It feels like some days I can fight against it a little but I get overwhelmed. Other days everything... EVERYTHING is a struggle and it's those days that it seems the most hopeless. Where do you even start getting help for something like this? What call a hotline? So they can tell me not to kill myself and then just awkwardly talk to me without ever actually helping? Go get professional help from some moron who barely passed his classes in school and knows nothing more about how to help than the average hotline volunteer? Self-medicate with drugs until I OD? There is no help. I shouldn't need help. I should be able to pull myself out of this but I fail when I try. That is who I am currently.
9.What do you bring to the DSSR?
A cheery demeanor and Popsicles.